who's this good lookin guy???
happy bday mark!
Jan 28, 2004
the burger king and i
so.... i've just spent another holiday full of holiday cheer, eating, hanging w/the fams, and watching 24 non-stop for hours upon hours. getting back into the thick of the work thang is taking time - how i yearn for the days when i was not-so-employed, spending my days lazing, watching tv, EATING, napping, EATING, occassionally coming out to the city, EATING... all with absolutely no responsibility. God has been good to me that way, as i been pretty much working for 8 years non-stop (including b-school lah)... so i really did need time where there were no deadlines, no people, no management, no responsibility, no agenda... yeah, and no moolah. i guess now that things have reverted to 'the norm', my perception is that the grass really is greener on the other side!
however - my mind the past 3 weeks of the new year has been how i'm choosing to spend my time... altho work takes a good chunk of time, i'm wondering if it's more self-initiated rather than out of necessity. i love work, so i don't feel as tho it's all that imposing. my prayers du jour have been more on how i'm choosing to invest my time. the more i been asking God, the more He's been leading me to greater commitment. i think i've just been resisting the call more due to my own worries about job n money n stability. coming from a past of making tons of dough as an investment banker/money manager - i've learned so much about managing other people's money... but very little about managing my own, and finding that balance. i've learned how pride can befall the proud - and in turn, lost much money in the process - my own more than those of other people's, unfortunately. then i came to the Lord, and learned to balance that life. it's more than just the personal-professional relationship and dynamic... and more than the penny earned-penny saved-penny tithed relationship dynamic... from that point, to put it simply, it was learning to trust God - to place your needs with Him (and let Him make the amendments to that!)... to seek professional excellence by following and applying His ways... to strive for personal fulfillment of God's promises by keeping to His Word. and somehow, fine tuning that 'life' into something that's balanced and glorifying to God. that is something i had forgotten in the past year of sloth and indulgence. it's funny, cause i'm a fairly highly trained finance guy, managed hundred million dollars, done even bigger deals with big corporate companies, responsible for the lives of a handful of people, but yet - somehow it gets lost upon myself personally when it comes to application to me... either that, or i find it so inapplicable to my own life regarding the same issues.
the past week, God really spoke to my heart on these issues. i've sorta gotten my finances back in order - from the absolute mess it was in before... i've committed to keeping myself orderly and disciplined at work (altho i'm typing this at my desk as i ... uh.. type - but LUNCH TIME!!).... and most importantly, i've opened my heart to God's calling. and from that, i don't feel as stressed (if that's the word for it) over the monetary issues.. i'm still a bit intimidated by the work task that's before me, but that's a good thing cause it pushes me towards excellence and will feel all that much better when i overcome it.... and i've gained a new vision on where God wants my ministry to lead. it's funny how a bit of worry and concern can completely distract your mind. i been so blessed by having so much education and experience (both spiritual and secular, i guess), but then in a time of tribulation, it happens to go out the window, and my brain impulses start firing in a zillion different directions. i guess it's a good thing now to start putting the training to use, not for me, but for the "Higher Calling that is in Christ Jesus!".
this all came out of: first, my conversation with God, talking about my life and my future and my direction... which took me to a conversation with dpma about leadership and commitment... which took me to a conversation (today, actually) w/my colleague about balance between professionalism and personal.... which led me to my conversation with a mesh of plastic, wires, silicon, wafer boards, and a bit of glass that somehow functions as the window to my soul.
dunno.... philosophically speaking, i was victorious today. after a meeting out at the airport, i somehow managed to resist the temptation of going to burger king for a whopper, chicken sammich, and onion rings. the devil has no hold on meeeeeeeeeeee!
so.... i've just spent another holiday full of holiday cheer, eating, hanging w/the fams, and watching 24 non-stop for hours upon hours. getting back into the thick of the work thang is taking time - how i yearn for the days when i was not-so-employed, spending my days lazing, watching tv, EATING, napping, EATING, occassionally coming out to the city, EATING... all with absolutely no responsibility. God has been good to me that way, as i been pretty much working for 8 years non-stop (including b-school lah)... so i really did need time where there were no deadlines, no people, no management, no responsibility, no agenda... yeah, and no moolah. i guess now that things have reverted to 'the norm', my perception is that the grass really is greener on the other side!
however - my mind the past 3 weeks of the new year has been how i'm choosing to spend my time... altho work takes a good chunk of time, i'm wondering if it's more self-initiated rather than out of necessity. i love work, so i don't feel as tho it's all that imposing. my prayers du jour have been more on how i'm choosing to invest my time. the more i been asking God, the more He's been leading me to greater commitment. i think i've just been resisting the call more due to my own worries about job n money n stability. coming from a past of making tons of dough as an investment banker/money manager - i've learned so much about managing other people's money... but very little about managing my own, and finding that balance. i've learned how pride can befall the proud - and in turn, lost much money in the process - my own more than those of other people's, unfortunately. then i came to the Lord, and learned to balance that life. it's more than just the personal-professional relationship and dynamic... and more than the penny earned-penny saved-penny tithed relationship dynamic... from that point, to put it simply, it was learning to trust God - to place your needs with Him (and let Him make the amendments to that!)... to seek professional excellence by following and applying His ways... to strive for personal fulfillment of God's promises by keeping to His Word. and somehow, fine tuning that 'life' into something that's balanced and glorifying to God. that is something i had forgotten in the past year of sloth and indulgence. it's funny, cause i'm a fairly highly trained finance guy, managed hundred million dollars, done even bigger deals with big corporate companies, responsible for the lives of a handful of people, but yet - somehow it gets lost upon myself personally when it comes to application to me... either that, or i find it so inapplicable to my own life regarding the same issues.
the past week, God really spoke to my heart on these issues. i've sorta gotten my finances back in order - from the absolute mess it was in before... i've committed to keeping myself orderly and disciplined at work (altho i'm typing this at my desk as i ... uh.. type - but LUNCH TIME!!).... and most importantly, i've opened my heart to God's calling. and from that, i don't feel as stressed (if that's the word for it) over the monetary issues.. i'm still a bit intimidated by the work task that's before me, but that's a good thing cause it pushes me towards excellence and will feel all that much better when i overcome it.... and i've gained a new vision on where God wants my ministry to lead. it's funny how a bit of worry and concern can completely distract your mind. i been so blessed by having so much education and experience (both spiritual and secular, i guess), but then in a time of tribulation, it happens to go out the window, and my brain impulses start firing in a zillion different directions. i guess it's a good thing now to start putting the training to use, not for me, but for the "Higher Calling that is in Christ Jesus!".
this all came out of: first, my conversation with God, talking about my life and my future and my direction... which took me to a conversation with dpma about leadership and commitment... which took me to a conversation (today, actually) w/my colleague about balance between professionalism and personal
dunno.... philosophically speaking, i was victorious today. after a meeting out at the airport, i somehow managed to resist the temptation of going to burger king for a whopper, chicken sammich, and onion rings. the devil has no hold on meeeeeeeeeeee!
Jan 7, 2004
whittle awaaaaayyyyyyy
it was dec. 9. i had failed once before, and i couldn't accept it. the scales read 172... knowing that i had never broken the 170 mark in my life - i had been re-invigorated with incentive and confidence that i could do it. actually - it was more curiosity than anything. curious about stoooopid designer weight loss programs... curious about stoooopid body physiology things... curious to see if i could do it.. and if it would work? so, after however long it has been - i just weighed myself after tennis tonite - 158.... eeks... i over shot a bit.
the problem is not i'm hooked... while i do indulge maybe 2x a week on some sweet junk stuff, and even some noodles here n there - but i can't bring me to do the whole carb thing anymore. i look at my beloved yungkee chasiu fan - which i TURNED DOWN last nite - and i have absolute no want to eat it... not even a slight craving for wat was once my once-a-day staple. i guess it's somewhat a good thing... my next target is 140's... hehee... oof... it's not healthy, but i can't stop now. it's soooo good... everybody does it. it's free. it's harmless. at least i'm not killing anyone...
i need prayer... i'm getting flu shot tom'w. maybe they will look at me, and be like - you already got flu - can't take - go home... *sigh*
it was dec. 9. i had failed once before, and i couldn't accept it. the scales read 172... knowing that i had never broken the 170 mark in my life - i had been re-invigorated with incentive and confidence that i could do it. actually - it was more curiosity than anything. curious about stoooopid designer weight loss programs... curious about stoooopid body physiology things... curious to see if i could do it.. and if it would work? so, after however long it has been - i just weighed myself after tennis tonite - 158.... eeks... i over shot a bit.
the problem is not i'm hooked... while i do indulge maybe 2x a week on some sweet junk stuff, and even some noodles here n there - but i can't bring me to do the whole carb thing anymore. i look at my beloved yungkee chasiu fan - which i TURNED DOWN last nite - and i have absolute no want to eat it... not even a slight craving for wat was once my once-a-day staple. i guess it's somewhat a good thing... my next target is 140's... hehee... oof... it's not healthy, but i can't stop now. it's soooo good... everybody does it. it's free. it's harmless. at least i'm not killing anyone...
i need prayer... i'm getting flu shot tom'w. maybe they will look at me, and be like - you already got flu - can't take - go home... *sigh*
Jan 6, 2004
hope lah
things looking up already! my knicks have just traded mcdyess, eisley, charlie ward for stephon marbury and penny hardaway... woooohoooo!!!!! we've been looking for a stud PG for a loooonnnnggg time, and this could be it! altho i love charlie, his attitude, and of course his unwavering belief in God, this is basketball - and i can't waste my pity on people that are paid millions to relocate just to play ball!
playoffs baby... here we come!
things looking up already! my knicks have just traded mcdyess, eisley, charlie ward for stephon marbury and penny hardaway... woooohoooo!!!!! we've been looking for a stud PG for a loooonnnnggg time, and this could be it! altho i love charlie, his attitude, and of course his unwavering belief in God, this is basketball - and i can't waste my pity on people that are paid millions to relocate just to play ball!
playoffs baby... here we come!
commitment
i've had 3 long hard weeks of thinking/praying bout life and where i am in it - pretty much right thru the holidays and my south beach diet. it's been a real tough latter half of the year. altho i still contend that i am the most blessed man on earth, i've struggled with my sense of just plain being. i've realized and accepted that it's just a biproduct of my upbringing, where i've moved every 2-4 years - living all over the world... some might call that exciting or even a blessing in itself. i wouldn't discount that, nor would i fully dismiss it - but i will say that it has ingrained a transient sense and expectation in my psyche. it's not negative per sey - i mean - i've learned much thruout those times about people - making new friends, how to deal with new environments, and overall just comfortable with packing up and re-rooting somewhere else. or even better - having a lack of roots. i don't know very many people from my 'young' days anymore, and there's no one with whom i could say 'we grew up together'... well, family friends aside that is. the longest place i've ever been consecutively is indonesia, where i almost made 4 1/2 years - and that was as a professional, well into or past my formative years.
so where does that leave me? i was having a hard time accepting that i might be back in hk for good... i was not fully unpacked despite being in my apt for over 4 months. i refused to do simple things like build this new tv stand my bro got us for christmas. i didn't wanna commit to work fully cause i wasn't sure if i was gonna leave the next year. i didn't even want to commit to the church cause i was so 'sure' that i was gonna uproot and leave. it was a tough struggle with God over the holidays to dispel myself of these notions. it was even tougher to accept His will - that i would be here for the long term. that i'm here in hk for a purpose now. that i'm done globetrotting...
this book i just finished, xenocide, by orson scott card - it's probably the best series EVER... it's the 3rd installment of the ender series, starting with the best book of them all, ender's game. anyway - our protagonist, ender wiggin, has been planet hopping for 3000 years, never staying put in any one place - therefore cheating time, and seemingly living soooo long thru the relativity of travelling at lightspeed. well - i'm not exactly planet hopping, nor travelling at lightspeed, but i am ditching every place i go. read between the lines, that's saying that i didn't need to establish any sort of responsibility at any juncture of my life/career, b/c if i'm not going to be there in a year, no matter what i do, i have my out and to hell with the rest of the world. that's not to say i wasn't responsible - but knowing that you are in a position to rock the boat (more for good than bad) w/out too much consequence to self is a pretty liberating proposition. it's like if you know u'r soooperman, then it makes bein a cop and chasin bad guys all the more simple and riskless. i gotta say it was easier to be bold and outspoken in them days. at the end of it all, even the nomadic ender settled in one place - even tho he struggled with the idea of 'normalcy', and experiencing first hand the long term consequences of his actions and decisions... that's where i am now. ready to plant, and ready to sow. ready to commit - not to new life in hk, not to job, not to people... but to God. He will always be my first and foremost. and if i am tru to Him, then natrually, my life will be just as focused in all my endeavors. andy g speaking on the meaning of commitment was well timed... he wasn't just speaking to the 2 new pastors - he was also speaking to me. i love the term - the point of total commitment - where God has taken me to now.
well - now that that's settled, i guess i can go back to the south beach. even as i type it, i'm eating a praline scone from starbux. yuuuummmmmmmmm... commitment... blech...
i've had 3 long hard weeks of thinking/praying bout life and where i am in it - pretty much right thru the holidays and my south beach diet. it's been a real tough latter half of the year. altho i still contend that i am the most blessed man on earth, i've struggled with my sense of just plain being. i've realized and accepted that it's just a biproduct of my upbringing, where i've moved every 2-4 years - living all over the world... some might call that exciting or even a blessing in itself. i wouldn't discount that, nor would i fully dismiss it - but i will say that it has ingrained a transient sense and expectation in my psyche. it's not negative per sey - i mean - i've learned much thruout those times about people - making new friends, how to deal with new environments, and overall just comfortable with packing up and re-rooting somewhere else. or even better - having a lack of roots. i don't know very many people from my 'young' days anymore, and there's no one with whom i could say 'we grew up together'... well, family friends aside that is. the longest place i've ever been consecutively is indonesia, where i almost made 4 1/2 years - and that was as a professional, well into or past my formative years.
so where does that leave me? i was having a hard time accepting that i might be back in hk for good... i was not fully unpacked despite being in my apt for over 4 months. i refused to do simple things like build this new tv stand my bro got us for christmas. i didn't wanna commit to work fully cause i wasn't sure if i was gonna leave the next year. i didn't even want to commit to the church cause i was so 'sure' that i was gonna uproot and leave. it was a tough struggle with God over the holidays to dispel myself of these notions. it was even tougher to accept His will - that i would be here for the long term. that i'm here in hk for a purpose now. that i'm done globetrotting...
this book i just finished, xenocide, by orson scott card - it's probably the best series EVER... it's the 3rd installment of the ender series, starting with the best book of them all, ender's game. anyway - our protagonist, ender wiggin, has been planet hopping for 3000 years, never staying put in any one place - therefore cheating time, and seemingly living soooo long thru the relativity of travelling at lightspeed. well - i'm not exactly planet hopping, nor travelling at lightspeed, but i am ditching every place i go. read between the lines, that's saying that i didn't need to establish any sort of responsibility at any juncture of my life/career, b/c if i'm not going to be there in a year, no matter what i do, i have my out and to hell with the rest of the world. that's not to say i wasn't responsible - but knowing that you are in a position to rock the boat (more for good than bad) w/out too much consequence to self is a pretty liberating proposition. it's like if you know u'r soooperman, then it makes bein a cop and chasin bad guys all the more simple and riskless. i gotta say it was easier to be bold and outspoken in them days. at the end of it all, even the nomadic ender settled in one place - even tho he struggled with the idea of 'normalcy', and experiencing first hand the long term consequences of his actions and decisions... that's where i am now. ready to plant, and ready to sow. ready to commit - not to new life in hk, not to job, not to people... but to God. He will always be my first and foremost. and if i am tru to Him, then natrually, my life will be just as focused in all my endeavors. andy g speaking on the meaning of commitment was well timed... he wasn't just speaking to the 2 new pastors - he was also speaking to me. i love the term - the point of total commitment - where God has taken me to now.
well - now that that's settled, i guess i can go back to the south beach. even as i type it, i'm eating a praline scone from starbux. yuuuummmmmmmmm... commitment... blech...
Jan 1, 2004
thrist... slurp.... burp
last nite thirst was awesome.... how can u beat ushering in a new year praising God for what He has done and what He will do. some pics of what transpired in a foto-essay:
the crew settin up inside n out... mmmmm hotdogs....
the time for games.... 2nd game was eating some nasty sounding baby food.. just look at fraymes eatin it down!
jase n alison & renee doin the open mike thang...
jenny b giving an amazing and inspiring testimony.. if you squint enuf - you'll see dawnieS giving a talk and issuing a new year's challenge
tom, renzie, nic, mark, and ephraim leading worship into the new year
renzie doin her celebration thang... alison n karen and some behind peeps doin the happies... props to karen for making this incredible soft choco, almond, graham cookie brownie thing... i'm SOOOO glad derek took some home
two most good lookin peoples at the party (and most blessed, i might add)...
ben tellin me not to mess wit his fone, or else.... or else christian will answer the call to arms..
d n j... old school, baby...
bonnie makin the picture rounds (after all, wat is picture w/out bonnie!)... eframe doin the clockwork orange... and janice, oh that janice...
the strachans... where would we be without them...
the original posers... man - i didn't these guys really took their clothes off...
wat is an evening w/out a pic of the hottest men in hk (well... at least w/dan out of hk, that is)...& ann ong (no doubt saying...'wateva!'...)!
finally, farewell to 2003!
...forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, i press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." phil 3:13-14
my prayer is that we as a body can keep each other accountable for the goals that we have set, and that we are constantly and fervently reaching for those things ahead which God has placed before us. thru our faith and perseverance, we will see the vine reach new levels of growth in numbers as well as in spirituality; we will see 180 and sna evolve in ways we couldn't have imagined; and most importantly, we'll see ourselves grow in faith as the Grace of God abound in our lives. it's the time for us (well me, at the least) to step up and be the example in all ways... remembering the word dawn gave us last nite - it is soooo worth repeating - "... they flattered Him with their mouth, and they lied to Him with their tongue; for their heart was not steadfast with Him, nor were they faithful in His covenant". wat a challenge - i hope that i'm not the only one who took it to heart! 2004 babyyyyyyyy it's gonna be a great year!
last nite thirst was awesome.... how can u beat ushering in a new year praising God for what He has done and what He will do. some pics of what transpired in a foto-essay:
the crew settin up inside n out... mmmmm hotdogs....
the time for games.... 2nd game was eating some nasty sounding baby food.. just look at fraymes eatin it down!
jase n alison & renee doin the open mike thang...
jenny b giving an amazing and inspiring testimony.. if you squint enuf - you'll see dawnieS giving a talk and issuing a new year's challenge
tom, renzie, nic, mark, and ephraim leading worship into the new year
renzie doin her celebration thang... alison n karen and some behind peeps doin the happies... props to karen for making this incredible soft choco, almond, graham cookie brownie thing... i'm SOOOO glad derek took some home
two most good lookin peoples at the party (and most blessed, i might add)...
ben tellin me not to mess wit his fone, or else.... or else christian will answer the call to arms..
d n j... old school, baby...
bonnie makin the picture rounds (after all, wat is picture w/out bonnie!)... eframe doin the clockwork orange... and janice, oh that janice...
the strachans... where would we be without them...
the original posers... man - i didn't these guys really took their clothes off...
wat is an evening w/out a pic of the hottest men in hk (well... at least w/dan out of hk, that is)...& ann ong (no doubt saying...'wateva!'...)!
finally, farewell to 2003!
...forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, i press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." phil 3:13-14
my prayer is that we as a body can keep each other accountable for the goals that we have set, and that we are constantly and fervently reaching for those things ahead which God has placed before us. thru our faith and perseverance, we will see the vine reach new levels of growth in numbers as well as in spirituality; we will see 180 and sna evolve in ways we couldn't have imagined; and most importantly, we'll see ourselves grow in faith as the Grace of God abound in our lives. it's the time for us (well me, at the least) to step up and be the example in all ways... remembering the word dawn gave us last nite - it is soooo worth repeating - "... they flattered Him with their mouth, and they lied to Him with their tongue; for their heart was not steadfast with Him, nor were they faithful in His covenant". wat a challenge - i hope that i'm not the only one who took it to heart! 2004 babyyyyyyyy it's gonna be a great year!
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