whittle awaaaaayyyyyyy

it was dec. 9. i had failed once before, and i couldn't accept it. the scales read 172... knowing that i had never broken the 170 mark in my life - i had been re-invigorated with incentive and confidence that i could do it. actually - it was more curiosity than anything. curious about stoooopid designer weight loss programs... curious about stoooopid body physiology things... curious to see if i could do it.. and if it would work? so, after however long it has been - i just weighed myself after tennis tonite - 158.... eeks... i over shot a bit.

the problem is not i'm hooked... while i do indulge maybe 2x a week on some sweet junk stuff, and even some noodles here n there - but i can't bring me to do the whole carb thing anymore. i look at my beloved yungkee chasiu fan - which i TURNED DOWN last nite - and i have absolute no want to eat it... not even a slight craving for wat was once my once-a-day staple. i guess it's somewhat a good thing... my next target is 140's... hehee... oof... it's not healthy, but i can't stop now. it's soooo good... everybody does it. it's free. it's harmless. at least i'm not killing anyone...

i need prayer... i'm getting flu shot tom'w. maybe they will look at me, and be like - you already got flu - can't take - go home... *sigh*